advice

Anonymous asked: I always thought I was straight (beyond, like, thinking Scarlett Johansson is fiiiiiine) but there's this one girl who... proves the exception. And I don't know what to say, beyond that it's really scary, I really like her a lot, and I don't know how to tell her or even if I should.

Well, eventually you should tell her.  First off, though, you may want to gather a bit of information on her personality.  If you know her—at least a little bit—you’ll be better able to approach the situation in a way that will neither make her feel threatened or you feel awkward.  These feelings are difficult to deal with, and patience is a big part of handling them well.  You’ll find the answer you’re looking for in due time, as long as you keep on looking.

Anonymous asked: I find myself in a place in my life that I absolutely need to break an emotional connection I have to someone, as they are entirely nothing but a negative presence in my life and I know this logically, but I am having severe difficulty doing so. We do not live together but this does not help. What do I do?

Emotions and logic are often in confrontation with one another, and people are at the center of these many times.  To ease this problem, maybe break the connection is stages.  Start with small things like defriending them on Facebook, erasing them from a digital signature, and so on.  Keep conversations with them friendly, but as short as possible and limit your contact with them.  Eventually, the connection will have stretched so thin that it breaks.

It is a long process, but much less painful from attempting to cut them out of your life on the turn of a dime.  It will be easier for both you and the other person to adapt to this change if you stagger it.

I hope this helps.

Anonymous asked: There's this guy I'm not really dating, but we have admitted feelings for each other. When he lost his phone we lost contact and haven't talked for almost two weeks. We planned to skype but it never happened. I'm not happy where things are, but I'm too prideful/afraid to be the one to reach out first.

Losing contact is always hard, but think of it in relative terms: two weeks is not that much compared to some separations.  You’re lucky for that, and it will make reconnecting a bit easier in the long run.

As for your pride/fear, well, that is a difficult one because both of those emotions are extremely hard to get past.  I would suggest that you give yourself a few days time, make yourself an absolute unbreakable promise to reach out to him if he has not contacted you in that amount of time.  Sometimes, you just have to make a decision and go out on a limb to see if it snaps under your weight or continues on to something great.

I thought this would make some people laugh.  Sometimes a good laugh helps.

(Source: kaajbsaro, via psychobiobrilliant)

Anonymous asked: my crush likes me rigghtt, and yesterday he followed me home! that freaked me outt!! what shoould i do?

Well, that depends.  If your crush followed you home without bringing attention to himself, or trying to catch your attention, this is a bad sign.  What you should do is tell him that being followed home freaked you out, tell him to back off a bit if it scared you that badly.  If he doesn’t stop, tell someone in authority or another person.  The more people that know about what he’s doing, the more likely it is that he will stop.  

If this isn’t a reoccurring thing, wait it out for a little while.   See if it happens again.  If it does, tell someone.

Anonymous asked: I really like one of my best friends, and I want to tell her, but I'm just not sure if it's a good time. I wanted to tell her a while ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Now that I think I can handle it, she has this huge crush on someone she met a couple weeks ago. I don't want to stress her out by telling her right now, and I definitely don't want to lose her as a friend if she doesn't feel the same way. I'm just worried that if I do have a chance, it might be too late soon. Help?

First off, I’m really happy you’re not pulling the “friend-zone” card as many would in this situation.  That renders you a genuinely good human being.

Though she may have a crush on someone right now, keep in mind that crushes are often temporary.  Also keep in mind that, no matter what, it is never too late to tell her how you feel.  By telling her how you feel while she has this crush going on would put the both of you on unstable friendship grounds, but sometimes that is the best way to put the strength of a friendship to the test.  

My ultimate view on this is that you should tell her that you like her, but also make it clear that you’d like to stay friends if she doesn’t return your feelings.  Make sure she knows you’ve got her back when it comes to relationships, too, because she is your friend.  Keep your own well-being in mind as well, this is a matter of personal judgement.  I’m just here to offer a second opinion, what I write is never law.

Anonymous asked: i'm the same anon that asked about the kid thats been bullying me since 4th grade. you can see it. its on the second page for a refresher. you didnt touch on the emotional part of him being my best friend from kindergarten to 4th grade. that jus makes everything he says hurt more. i normally just feel like people are just being stupid when theyre making fun of me, but its worse because we used to be so close. sorry for using up your time again when you could be answering much more important asks

Actually, dear Anon, no ask wastes my time.  If you took the time to ask for advice, I will take the time to answer as best I can.

Yeah, I know having a friend turn on you so suddenly like that can hurt.  The harsh reality of life is that people change, some for better and some for worse, but when a best friend turns on you… Ah, well, I’ve had my own experiences in this field.  The only advice I can really give is try to accept that what might have been once no longer exists.  This person is no longer your friend, just someone who used to be.  It hurts, and this sounds like hard advice to take, but things will get better once you do.

Life moves on, people move on, move on yourself.  Hopefully, his words won’t hurt as much.