advice

I always thought I was straight (beyond, like, thinking Scarlett Johansson is fiiiiiine) but there's this one girl who... proves the exception. And I don't know what to say, beyond that it's really scary, I really like her a lot, and I don't know how to tell her or even if I should.

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 21:32:00 -0600

Well, eventually you should tell her. First off, though, you may want to gather a bit of information on her personality. If you know her—at least a little bit—you’ll be better able to approach the situation in a way that will neither make her feel threatened or you feel awkward. These feelings are difficult to deal with, and patience is a big part of handling them well. You’ll find the answer you’re looking for in due time, as long as you keep on looking.

Need some advice?

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 21:00:21 -0600

Need some advice?

I find myself in a place in my life that I absolutely need to break an emotional connection I have to someone, as they are entirely nothing but a negative presence in my life and I know this logically, but I am having severe difficulty doing so. We do not live together but this does not help. What do I do?

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 17:32:00 -0600

Emotions and logic are often in confrontation with one another, and people are at the center of these many times. To ease this problem, maybe break the connection is stages. Start with small things like defriending them on Facebook, erasing them from a digital signature, and so on. Keep conversations with them friendly, but as short as possible and limit your contact with them. Eventually, the connection will have stretched so thin that it breaks.

It is a long process, but much less painful from attempting to cut them out of your life on the turn of a dime. It will be easier for both you and the other person to adapt to this change if you stagger it.

I hope this helps.

There's this guy I'm not really dating, but we have admitted feelings for each other. When he lost his phone we lost contact and haven't talked for almost two weeks. We planned to skype but it never happened. I'm not happy where things are, but I'm too prideful/afraid to be the one to reach out first.

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 01:02:00 -0600

Losing contact is always hard, but think of it in relative terms: two weeks is not that much compared to some separations. You’re lucky for that, and it will make reconnecting a bit easier in the long run.

As for your pride/fear, well, that is a difficult one because both of those emotions are extremely hard to get past. I would suggest that you give yourself a few days time, make yourself an absolute unbreakable promise to reach out to him if he has not contacted you in that amount of time. Sometimes, you just have to make a decision and go out on a limb to see if it snaps under your weight or continues on to something great.

I thought this would make some people laugh. Sometimes a good...

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:47:27 -0600

I thought this would make some people laugh. Sometimes a good laugh helps.

So this advice blog has been comatose for a good long while, and I believe it's time to remind people we're here to help.

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:21:24 -0600

So this advice blog has been comatose for a good long while, and I believe it's time to remind people we're here to help.

my crush likes me rigghtt, and yesterday he followed me home! that freaked me outt!! what shoould i do?

Thu, 31 May 2012 16:33:00 -0600

Well, that depends. If your crush followed you home without bringing attention to himself, or trying to catch your attention, this is a bad sign. What you should do is tell him that being followed home freaked you out, tell him to back off a bit if it scared you that badly. If he doesn’t stop, tell someone in authority or another person. The more people that know about what he’s doing, the more likely it is that he will stop.

If this isn’t a reoccurring thing, wait it out for a little while. See if it happens again. If it does, tell someone.

I really like one of my best friends, and I want to tell her, but I'm just not sure if it's a good time. I wanted to tell her a while ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Now that I think I can handle it, she has this huge crush on someone she met a couple weeks ago. I don't want to stress her out by telling her right now, and I definitely don't want to lose her as a friend if she doesn't feel the same way. I'm just worried that if I do have a chance, it might be too late soon. Help?

Thu, 31 May 2012 16:30:00 -0600

First off, I’m really happy you’re not pulling the “friend-zone” card as many would in this situation. That renders you a genuinely good human being.

Though she may have a crush on someone right now, keep in mind that crushes are often temporary. Also keep in mind that, no matter what, it is never too late to tell her how you feel. By telling her how you feel while she has this crush going on would put the both of you on unstable friendship grounds, but sometimes that is the best way to put the strength of a friendship to the test.

My ultimate view on this is that you should tell her that you like her, but also make it clear that you’d like to stay friends if she doesn’t return your feelings. Make sure she knows you’ve got her back when it comes to relationships, too, because she is your friend. Keep your own well-being in mind as well, this is a matter of personal judgement. I’m just here to offer a second opinion, what I write is never law.

i'm the same anon that asked about the kid thats been bullying me since 4th grade. you can see it. its on the second page for a refresher. you didnt touch on the emotional part of him being my best friend from kindergarten to 4th grade. that jus makes everything he says hurt more. i normally just feel like people are just being stupid when theyre making fun of me, but its worse because we used to be so close. sorry for using up your time again when you could be answering much more important asks

Thu, 31 May 2012 16:20:00 -0600

Actually, dear Anon, no ask wastes my time. If you took the time to ask for advice, I will take the time to answer as best I can.

Yeah, I know having a friend turn on you so suddenly like that can hurt. The harsh reality of life is that people change, some for better and some for worse, but when a best friend turns on you… Ah, well, I’ve had my own experiences in this field. The only advice I can really give is try to accept that what might have been once no longer exists. This person is no longer your friend, just someone who used to be. It hurts, and this sounds like hard advice to take, but things will get better once you do.

Life moves on, people move on, move on yourself. Hopefully, his words won’t hurt as much.

Ask for advice!

Thu, 31 May 2012 15:44:00 -0600

Ask for advice!

This is another thing I do believe belongs here. You all come...

Wed, 23 May 2012 21:12:44 -0600

This is another thing I do believe belongs here. You all come to me with problems that make my heart hurt and I want to see you smile, okay?

Hey guys, I thought this would look nice here…

Wed, 23 May 2012 19:48:18 -0600

Hey guys, I thought this would look nice here…

Hey, this is an advice blog. It exists to help people out.

Sun, 20 May 2012 22:58:19 -0600

Just tell me and I’ll do my very best to help you out, whatever your problem.

Hey guys, sorry about the inactivity. I haven't had anything to answer.

Tue, 15 May 2012 15:55:15 -0600

If you did send me a message and I haven’t yet answered it, then Tumblr is derping out because I didn’t get it. Resend it, if you did! If not, oh well.

Hi. So I was sexually abused in the past by a teacher, and I want to find out where he is, what he's doing now, what charges were brought against him (because he did it again to someone else after I left) that meant he was fired, etc. How can I find this out, do you think? I live in the Uk.

Thu, 10 May 2012 20:41:00 -0600

Well, a good first-attempt would be to Google him. The second (and if the Googling was at all successful, you should have it easier) you could possibly find the general area where he’s currently living. Some ways to do this might be to ask the school (if he’s not working there anymore) or request some sexual misdemeanor reports for where you think he might be living. There may be public court records of the charges brought against him, so you could find those, there also might be local newspaper articles in his area.

I think the biggest challenge would just be to find him, but I’m positive those records will be around somewhere.

Let's try this once more, shall we?

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:17:17 -0600

I’d just like to note that this is a relatively new advice blog, and I’ve been slipping under the radar here for a while. I just wanted to put out that I’m here and willing to help you with anything to the best of my abilities. I’ll be tagging this a few different things, just to reach out to those who might need help in whatever way I can. :)

Okay, uh, I'm surrounded by a bunch of amazing, beautiful, and talented people who keep putting themselves down! I try to reassure them, but I'm not very eloquent. How do I get them to see how awesome they all are?!

Mon, 07 May 2012 22:16:00 -0600

Highlight their talents. It’s hard to reassure people about themselves after years of belittlement, be it by themselves or by others. My advice here is really quite simple: just support them in what they do. Be a good friend, just like you already are.

You are a saint, and if nothing else know that you have one person who believes you are a paragon of what is best about humanity. I salute you, whoever you may be, because this is an exemplary project and you deserve a medal for daring to take it up.

Mon, 07 May 2012 22:14:54 -0600

No funny gif to put here because I don’t receive compliments often and this is just so sweet. Goodness, Anon, you’re making me cry.

Getting this blog back on the radar again.

Mon, 07 May 2012 22:07:43 -0600

I’ll give all the advice to anyone who needs it. It’s time I put my observation powers to good use doing something I love, which is helping people.

If I help any of you even slightly, the purpose of this blog has been fulfilled and I hope it will continue to be. :)

So I've been going through a lot (I mean a LOT) of emotional stress lately when it comes to romance and relationships with people. Boyfriend/Girlfriend AND friendships. Anyway, I've been relying on this one guy that I've been friends with since the beginning of middle school, and recently I've been getting signals from him that he might like me more than friends. A few months ago, he called me beautiful. Lately, he goes out of his way to talk to me. I guess my question is what I should do?

Sat, 05 May 2012 10:57:00 -0600

Well, this guy most likely has the hots for you. It really depends on how you feel about him at the moment and how well you think you could deal with it. He may want to help you if you tell him what’s going on, but alerting him and being direct with it is probably the best thing to do.